i will wait for H-day

*i just need to put myself inside the photo. HAHA.*

yup. now is the time of the sem where things start to get jittery and panicky. and i shall make this my last post before 29 april 2010 too. recently, things had been pretty mundane. i wonder why my life is this way at times.

helped out at health bazaar on mon and got to make my own cotton candy! it's actually pretty simple: i just need to put sugar into a small container in the centre of the machine and switch the on button. gettin the cotton candy onto the chopstick is abit challenging though. i need to move the chopstick arond the circumference and constantly twirl it. but i had fun making! (: helped the welfare peeps sold 9 auction tickets as well. and it's all to pharmily. LOL.

hongkong trip is booked! :D it is my only motivation from now till 29 april 2010. nothing beats gg back hometown after 19 long years i guess. HAHA.

running is CANCELLED this wk again due to the blizzard and unpredictable weather. i hadnt run for weeks. ): went asian kitchen instead with tong, maye and qp. and i ate xiaolongbaoz! when i just vowed never to eat again for another 2 mths and only 2 wks past. LOL. we had a great time dinning and talked about everything under the sun. about childhood times when we cried and throw tantrums when being forced to do things that we dont like to. we could even linked on to ethical issues about abortions and i felt tt our conversion suddenly turned highly intellectual. HAHA. but it's always fun having dinner with them and there wouldnt be any awkward silence! (:

bahaha oral and final exams is ard the corner. *nervous* especially when there is listening comprehension. hopefully i wont stone after hearing the convos. many many many many things to post-stick into my mind. i wished i could make them all into solutions and drink them for better, faster and more efficient absorption. tt's why i could only rely on my visit back to hometown to make me survive through this gruelling period.

i just need to do whatever i can.
even if it fails me again.

transition state

1 week passed. and many things happened within the week. besides the mundane lecures, tutorials, assignments and gastric relapses, there was the ogl interview, rag comm meeting with prof chan and prof chui, hilarious angklung practice session and indonesia night!

i passed the ogl interview! :D despite giving them the jack and the beanstalk story when they were asking about jack and jill. LOL.
here's what happened then:
deren: why did jack and jill run up the hill?
me: erm. huh. i forgot le leh. hmm is it smth like they climb up the beanstalk to a house in the sky and steal some golden eggs?
[there was a sudden of awkward silence after my reply]
kwee han: erm. hahas. i think wrong story leh. tt one is jack and the beanstalk. they run up to fetch a pill of water.
me: HAHA! OOPS. sorry sorry! [embarrassed]
[everyone else burst into laughter]

rag comm meeting cum lunch with the 2 profs was kinda awkward. charmaine and i exchanged glances and smiled to each other everytime we broke out into total silence. LOL. i didnt have much to talk abt and john was doing most of the talking, filling in them with our current plans abt the story and float. so i concentrated on eating my lunch and try not to break the fork while cutting the chicken after seeing nick broke 3 consecutively. HAHA! the fieldtrip following the meeting was HORRIBLE. cos i was carrying loads of stuff, wearing the wrong pair of shoes and it was RAINING. i was also having a hard time trying to listen to prof lu speak with 60-70 pple crowding ard him. and because of the rain, i had to cancel my run. ):

the angklung session was hilarious as usual but we sorta screwed up the performance during indo nite just nw because all of us forgot some of the notes during the middle of the performance. brandon (our conductor) even had to resort to humming the tune to us so we noe how to continue playing. LOL. but i guess most imptly, all of us had fun throughout the project and we learnt that teamwork is really impt in order to play a good piece. the indo drama was hilarious as well and the makanan kecil prepared by the memasak teams were superb! i had many rds of eating. heh. we also get to see the various wedding and traditional costumes from different parts of indonesia. all of them were really nice with some being intricately designed.

it's time to return to where it orignally begins. i will wave goodbye.

it will get better

TODAY- BURNT AND HUNGRY.

today is a terrible day because:

1. i woke up in a fluster after receiving junhao's call and rushed all the way to school when tutorial started much much later.

2. there was no lunch and dinner for me at home as everyone was out. and in my attempt to cook porridge, the stoves caught fire.

3. i had to spend 1hour trying to scrub away the burnt and melted plastic covers on the unused stoves tt caught fire, sweep away all the ashes flying all over the kitchen and face the music from my mum.

4. wat's worse, even the lighter got burnt and i couldnt start any fire to continue cooking my porridge. ):

tian, give me some shower of blessings. i'm really in need of them now. ):



THURS- FRISBEE AND XLB BUFFET

mid terms are finally over after 3 gruelling weeks! so i went to play frisbee with pharmily ytd after class at 1800hr. although our team came in last but we still enjoyed playing and had fun! (: went for xiaolongbaoz buffet at holland v crystal jade after the game. too many pple turned up for the buffet and there were nt enuff seats. felt pretty bad and wanted to leave initially since i onli cfm attendance with qx the day before. and they had to put beef in the sucky soup base cos i couldnt take beef. sorry pple! ):

the double soup base.

xiaolongbaoz! (:

we ordered tonnes of beef and dumped everything down the soup

since there werent enuf time for us to eat.

*BEEFY*

stacking xiaolongbaoz!

we had 15 xlb each.

after putting the last one in my mouth, i think

i wouldnt touch another one for at least 2 months. HAHA.

this is wat happened when kheng yong, qi xuan n nick

try stuffin 2 xlb in their mouth at 1 go. HAHA.

the gross looking soup!!

it looks like a 2 phase system. we could have brought it

back to phy pharm lab to do a seperation

and calculate its partition coefficient. LOL.

drifting to nowhere.

maybe i'm trying too hard.

but it aint easy.

to step away from the comfort zone.

i need time still.

colour

can i live to see the rainbow?

cause now all that i see is the gloomy sky.

i try hard to tell myself.

just grit it through.

because you will have your silver lining soon.

or perhaps i have not accustomed to all these.

or maybe i'm just not suited for all these.

what do you want?

what do you see?

i just need an assurance.

because sometimes, i feel like i'm living in agony.

when the passion failed to ignite,

i just need to go back and believe in the very start.

that the road ahead may look all gloomy and uncertain.

but you will have all the rainbows to colour them. (:

fly away

it is at such times when i wish i could be one of the balloons up there.
to be set free to roam around the world.
because when things turned ugly, pointless and revolting,
you just feel like perhaps being a non-living thing may nt be so bad after all.

but the last thing tt i ever want to be is a drug tablet.
because i DONT WANT to experience fick and flux myself.
LOL. look at wat diffusion had done to me.
argh. i had enough of that stupid process. ):

2 major upcoming events which i wouldnt have the wealth to watch:
1. jam hsiao mr rock concert - 13 march
2. jang geun suk fan meeting- 24 april
argh. it just sucks when they are both HERE and i cannot go to any. ):
tian, please drop me some money.

life is so not good recently.
gastric is also acting up more frequently now.
and not to mention the 2 new tenants on my face.
i hoped they move out soon! ):

and i came to realise 3 things.
NUMBER ONE: that it doesnt really matter how much is put in.
but wat matters most is how you put it in.
so sowing the seeds does not guarantee a harvest.
so it is getting totally draining for me.

NUMBER TWO: cherish life.
it hurts even for a complete stranger like me.
so i guess it must really hurt alot for ur family and urself.
tt this happens at the prime of ur regime.
ACHA FIGHT! pharmily will be there for u! (:
and this further lead me to acertain why it has to be oncology for me.

NUMBER THREE: keep things simple and natural.
why too much is processed, it might just complicate stuff.

why why why

fick flux.

flux fick.

why bother when it will ALL eventually be reduced to NOTHING?

do i need to tell my patients:

auntie, the diazepam will flow through ur lumen and based on the fick second law of diffusion, it will diffuse completely by x sec?

i will probably have received a cold shoulder and a hard stare by them then.

then WHY?

WHY AM I LEARNING FICK'S LAW AND DEALING WITH THE FICKLE-MINDED FLUX?