5/9

finally decided to go ahead with trying out and showdown was today. perhaps deep down, a part of me was already hypnotising myself. that it will turn out this way. nonetheless, i am glad that i decided to go ahead with it. what's mine will be mine. if it aint mine, i wouldnt force it as well.

dilemma

i didnt expect myself to begin the 1st post for the new year in this manner. esp after such a looong time. i am seriously stuck with a dilemma. one tt may change my life for at least the next 3 years. i made the enquiries and am stuck with whether i shld go on to fulfill it. a part of me tells me to go for me and not having to regret later on while its counterpart holds me back, as i predict the kind of questions they will be posting me for all tt i am lacking for. i never had such a hard time trying to make up my mind to pursue for something that i want. so i am having a tug of war now, thinking wat's the best decision i shld make.