if i haven got what i wish for, it probably means i haven work hard enough. this constant tug and pull battle has worn me off. and just proves the point more that what u reap is never what u sow. or perhaps i can never be better anymore. hang on, press on, jiayous, acha fighting. i heard enough.
tell my evil twin to go away. i cnt give up now although i am so tempted to let go of that rope. it had gotten me nothing but blisters. even if there is a tiny bit of me that want to withdraw, i need to pull the rest of me tgt and finish this race. because perceptions aside, i am only accountable to myself.