loads of stuff happened recently. i was upset in particular to one incident. cos i think i inflicted some hurt and harm on both parties. i didnt really want things to turn out this way.
things gt worse ytd. but i was still fine after tt 1st degree blow. although e news was bad, i had learnt to accept it entirely cos i knew tt was the best i could do. "u jus had to keep tryin and do better again" i acha fight myself.
it was a sunny morn today. everything went fine in the ppda lab. i was doin UV spectroscopy. i understood entirely wat dr anton was talking abt. i made 2-nitrophenol solution and a few rds of measurements. 2nd degree blow occured when i offered to make paracetamol dilution. tt's when e pipette broke n my left palm turned bloody. and i could not write properly after tt. jus when i had a pharm pract lab exam in 3 hrs time. jus when i had my 1st degree blow ytd. all tt i tot of was WHY ME.
on my way home, rachel msged me abt the physio CA results. i told her i will checked it out myself. eventually i still gt to noe. and tt was the 3rd degree blow.
it was a reversal. i am becoming the same me again. i told myself nt to go back then. but i still did. it rained when i left sch. i watched the raindrops pattered on the window panes of the train. it seemed like the sky was crying for me. perhaps all wasnt as bad in others perception. but no one cn understand the way i do. so much was done. so much self denial. so much self acha fight. and in the end, things dont turn out the way they are supposed to be again.
this is the breaking point. there is no more fourth degree blow.
i wished the tap went loose but it didnt. it couldnt. i jus felt this immense weight within me.
i am tired.
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