just f.y.i.

i realised i haven been blogging for quite some time. preceptorship will end this friday and the holidays are finally coming. there is so much that happened for the past 6 weeks. alot of thoughts went through and sometimes i just wonder wat's the best choice. maybe i have yet to experience it. nonetheless, i am grateful for all that i had went through for it broaden my perspective and made me realise more.

i miss shopping. i miss mahjong. i miss running. and i miss cycling the most. hopefully i cn do all of them after preceptorship ends.

dontforget

i realised i havent been updating for awhile. the long awaited school holidays is here and preceptorship week II is ending. life has been pretty routine: preceptorship, kdrama, preceptorship and more kdrama. finally get to watch secret garden, paradise ranch and my princess. went back to watch iris so completed 4 kdramas thus far. it's kind of insane how i cn spend the entire weekend staring at the computer screen. i just get so hooked on the stories and couldnt stop watching. i also went back to read the 2 jodi picoult books i bought last year. hadnt had the time to complete them. hopefully i cn finish them before school starts.

preceptorship is pretty fun although i was kind of intimidated the first few days especially when i couldnt locate all the different items the customers asked. experienced the real retail setting and everyday worklife of a retail pharmacist. i guess i might be considering this path afterall. since it really isnt what i thought to be.

school holidays means more time to think and think and think. staring at the dark space, the same old questions will popped up and as usual i dont have the answers. sometimes i just wished i am so tired that i will just fall asleep and not have the energy to think so much.

simple

the final week of the month is finally here! and the horrendous april is waiting for me. i just cnt bear to think how my life will be then. i will just have to take things one at a time. hopefully everything will not be too overwhelming for me to handle.

i learnt a new word in school 2 weeks ago: jaded. and it suits me totally. plus what i have been feeling for the past few months. it had been just continuous studying non-stop for all of us. right from the start of the semester. because we have so many tests and midterms and everyone just want to do well and that make things even more stressful. i want to feel better and be happy about what i am doing. i just want a weekend whereby i dont have to think about sch work and tests and really let my hair down.

i felt that i have never truly stopped and paused down once to look at all the things i have been missing so far in my life. it could have been a much simpler and easier path. but i took this instead. and sometimes, especially in times like this, i really question myself why did i ever do that for. i guess i knew that answer all along, i just want to rant for that moment. what an irony right. complaining about things that i chose for myself.

no matter how much i rant. no matter how hard things are going to get. i just have to believe that i can go through them.

breather

i should be studying for next week's pharmaco and the many upcoming tests. but here i am blogging because i finally ended the dell's ppt today! although things didnt really go the way i wanted, i am happy it is over! all the late nights has been making my brain worse- i realised i couldnt rmb stuff as well as last time. i need some gingko supplements to improve my memory! there is a pile of papers waiting for me to absorb them. if only i cn rmb all of them by mere touching that stack and all the info willl flow in. what naive thinking right.

and my gastric came to visit today after such a long time. had a really bad relapse today after the dell ppt. i think the h pylori in my stomach is multiplying and causing me all the upset. hopefully it will die down and not come back for a loong loong time.

need to go back to studying. the pile of papers is really stacking up and scary to see.

3/4 left.

the madness month is finally here. and 1 week had passed. it was not exactly pleasant but i am still glad that it is over. things will definitely turn worse and i am waiting for them to come. and i wonder, wat is behind all this hard work and effort. it kills to see things that dont reciprocate. it's like pouring water into a broken glass and not knowing why no matter how hard u try, u cnt seem to fill it up.


watching them definitely make me feel better. their passion saw them through the gruelling and depressing 24 months before their comeback. and so i cn still believe that as long as u truly put ur heart into it, u can achieve what u want eventually.

exclusively for you

loads of things happened in sch. that made me think about what is it that i actually want. it had been a long time since i really felt that i was happy with what i was doing. and there is so much i want to rant about but i wont start again. i will learn to swallow them unless i am really exploding. recess week is finally here and the most dreaded month is coming. march is termed madness month because there are tests, quizzes, assignment and presentation dued every week. i will need a lot of energy and mental strength to hold on. but for now, i will just take things as they come and overcome them one by one.

read about their lawsuit and found out about the dismissal of SM's injunction.although it is not over yet. it is definitely a huge relief for them.

looking back, the five of them had created and shared tons of memories. from strangers to bandmates to friends to soulmates; the common passion was the string that linked them together. they had grown up together, experienced the most spectacular part of their lives under each other's presence and went through all the downturns with each other's company. they knew they had each other to rely and count on. and that was all that matters to keep them going.

but things changed.

and everything is different now. there were shock, anguish, disbelief and speculations of the reasons behind their splitting moves. the media hype goes on with the lawsuit and the string that once bind them together was holding them against each other; like a tug of war that arises from cruelty. it was a tough decision to make and they had to go through so much sorrow and pain. it was a heartwrenching ordeal for all of them.

whatever the result of their lawsuit, i just hope that they wont go back to square one and become strangers again.

goodbye tiger. hello rabbit.

it is the time of the year where i see mandarin oranges, pineapple tarts, love letters lying in my house again. it is the joyous festive season that bring the entire family together for reunion dinner.

to celebrate the end of a lunar year and to embrace the new one with hope, happiness and excitement.

to squeeze in my dad's car with my siblings and listen to those cny songs as we made our way to housevisit.

to catch up with one another and to hear the elders say how much u have grown up, become fatter or thinner.

to munch on cny goodies and watch many tv programs at the different houses.

some things just never change and i am glad it still is today. (:

tug of war

it is getting harder. and harder. and harder to stay afloat.
depsite all that, i have to keep telling myself that i will pull through this gruelling period and everything will be fine.
information is overloading and overwhelming.
i need more time. i need to find more time.
i have to trust that i can do it.
i have to pull myself up in times like this.
throw away the negative thoughts and continue walking although it is getting so hard and my legs are tired and i want to stop so badly.
i just need to continue and never give up.

rants and thoughts

sch had started and it is the 2nd week oreadi. a new year. a new semester. and a whole new experience. i had the experience of having 2 projects on hand after i ended my 1st day of sch. how exciting. i cn sense tt more are coming my way. and things haven been gg smoothly as well. but i just dont want to think so much abt it and take things one at a time. i realised i always end up complaining and ranting abt sch life and sch work here. i guess i need this tiny space to shout out all the unhappiness and frustration and what not to ease myself.

the rainy season is here again. everyday just feel so cold and i am trying hard not to eat ice-cream. i think i need to stock up more in view of the hectic days that will come. a scoop or two never fail to make me feel better. (:

alot has been gg thru my mind recently. i understand alot more but there is still alot tt i dont understand and cnt seem to figure out. oh wells. i still believe they exist for a reason just tt the right time haven come for me to figure them out. (:

i have been following their dispute. and the least i want is for status quo to become permanent. it is no longer about who is at fault and who isnt. all those dont matter anymore. wat's more impt is when cn it all come to an end and for everything to go back to where they use to be. before all the sorrow and longing turned to feud and hatred. i hate bad endings. because they make pple regret when they think back years ltr about what had happened. i dont think anyone of them deserved to go through this ordeal. because they had been through so much tgt. no one knows best except themselves and perhaps there is so much tt they want to say to each other tt they could no longer find the words to say it anymore.

and i wonder why unfortunate events must happen after smth great is just over. the mild success was all that they get for so much tt they put in. it is unfair, unforgiving and truly unbearable to watch. despite all that, i truly wish them well and believe that they will put smiles on each other's faces again. because a cassie always keep the faith.

rocket,empire and adjectives

went for exco retreat at sentosa resort from 4-6 jan. although the sky was pouring from the 1st day that we were there, it did not dampened our mood at all. we made the best out of it and still had lots of fun. played hotel 6-2-6 for the 1st time and couldnt stop laughing when we were playing empire. more pple joined us on the 2nd day and we had bbq with the ad-hoc comms. i tried bbq-ing food under the umbrella for the 1st time and it's great to see everyone ard having fun. i tried playing rocket, frisbee and volleyball at 0000hr at the beach for the 1st time. although the lights were dim and many of us couldnt see properly, the pple present really made things fun. we played for 2 hrs and didnt realise time passed so fast! there was definitely more bonding amongst and within ourselves and i am glad we did organise for a retreat and everyone turned up despite the hectic schedule that we had. (:

the awesome pple that made the retreat so fun and memorable!

everyone that turned up for bbq! (:


good news to share!
tvxq is finally back with their latest after 2 long years!
i am really really happy for them.
because they worked really hard for this one
despite all that had happened to them.
although there is only changmin and yunho,
i am sure yoochun, junsu and jaejoong will join them soon. (:
they just need more time.
*always keep the faith*